The Science of Soulmates

In a recent podcast (episode #362), I am talked about the difference between a significant other and a soulmate.

A soulmate is a word we use to describe a human bond that involves a deep and satisfying sense of peace and connection. We literally wire this connection with our mind (our “aliveness”, or our ability to think, feel and choose) over time into our brain and body.

When we first meet a “kindred spirit”, the more intense the thinking, feeling and choosing that goes along with this “spark”, the more we wire this bond into our brain, which results in stronger emotions and their corresponding chemical, electromagnetic and genetic reactions in the brain and body. This sets up a sense of “longing” for the person we are in relationship with that only being together can satisfy. The more this longing is satisfied, the stronger it gets, creating an even bigger “longing” in a constant feedback loop that grows and develops over time. A relationship with a significant other is also wired into the brain and grown in the mind and body, but does not necessarily have the same “longing” factor, although this may develop over time.

Society puts a lot of pressure on us to find a soulmate. It is a consistent theme in movies and books. We all love a great love story! However, the ever-shifting social rules defining what this love should look like can negatively impact our understanding of and search for a soulmate. We are all different, and all have different desires, wants and needs. The key is to let everyone find their own…